Tag Archives: pregnancy

I’ve decided.

When the end of April hits and I stop breastfeeding – I’m going to go onto the Nutrisystem diet plan again. I’m sure you guys remember me mentioning what great success I had with that initially and I need that success again. I have a time frame (9 months) in which I NEED to lose all this excess weight (and get into shape, let’s not make this sound TOO easy…) and this time frame is really important to me. It’s do or die.

My plan is this: I’m going to order Nutrisystem for three months or until I lose 75% of my excess weight (75% = 45 lbs), whichever comes first. I realize that losing 45 in 3 months means to double what is not only expected from Nutrisystem but also deemed medically safe. The way I see it, I’m eating TERRIBLY right now and I’m sure eating right and exercising will provide surprising results. After that, I’m going to join Weight Watchers so I can not only maintain but also learn how to take care of myself – because lets face it: Nutrisystem takes the work out of dieting. I anticipate a few set backs once I start Weight Watchers because at that point its all me and its hard to break 27 years of poor choices. I’m going to need those remaining 6 months to lose my remaining 25% (potentially more) and maintain it successfully.

I remember reading my first pregnancy book and they were talking about getting your body ready BEFORE getting pregnant. I didn’t do that last time and I think it had a lot to do with how uncomfortable I was. As adorable as Paul found having to help me out of bed in the morning it was NOT fun. The book said I should be able to maintain my weight for a minimum of three months before getting pregnant and I want to strive to do that. Lose the extra weight and learn to keep it off.

I fear what might happen once I become pregnant – if I do succeed at losing all my goal weight. Weight Watchers refuses to create goals for pregnant women and most doctors – while in one hand say “don’t gain a lot of weight” in the other hand strongly discourage dieting. I don’t want to lose 60 lbs only to put it all back on during pregnancy because I was formally obese. If formally obese people need to work out for a minimum of an hour EACH DAY just to maintain weight loss, what am I going to do when I get pregnant?

I can only do my best. If I have to do some massive diet & exercise plan after having my second baby – then so be it. I can only do so much.

Last Week: Part One, Family in Pain

Last week was a hard one, and I was dealing with a few things so I’m going to split them up into a few posts instead of just one huge one.

We found out on Wednesday that my sister had a miscarriage. She was at 14 weeks when she found out, though they said the baby likely stopped developing at 12 weeks.  This would have been my sister’s 3rd child.  I left work early to be with her, but I felt as though I couldn’t offer much than company – as there is really nothing that can make a mother feel better after a miscarriage. Luckily she’s taking a lot of comfort from her two sons and she’s taking each day as they come.

My husband’s grandfather, who is nearing 90 years old, went into the hospital early last week (in fact, it was the weekend before) and hasn’t left and likely never will. He’s dealing with a lot of health issues that started with a pneumonia and has turned into a mild heart attack, kidney failure and a staff infection. His kidneys are only working at 12% and they want to jump-start them by pumping a lot of fluids in him but his heart is so weak his body can’t deal with the extra fluids. Fluid is filling his lungs from the pneumonia and when they tried to extract it they found that it was actually a gelatinous material. Lung surgery placed him in the ICU because his lungs were so weak from 65 years of smoking and he now has some internal bleeding that is causing him to lose blood in a rate quicker than they can pump it in him.

Paul’s mother is very close with her parents, and she’s very emotional to begin with, so Paul went down there to support her on Saturday and ended up staying the entire weekend. It’s after he’s gone that I realize how much I depend on him. I want him there for his mother but I really hope he doesn’t have to leave for another weekend. If it were just Evy I had to take care I could probably “survive” but I’ve also got our dog Ripley and our cat Junior. Both of which are not very demanding but you put all three together and I’m over-whelmed. Needless to say, I was happy to have him home last night.

IMO

I had to help a co-worker today, who happens to be a patient of the doctor who delivered Evy (he's a girly doctor, not just a L&D doctor). When she saw me she asked how my baby was, and then asked if her doctor had helped me to deliver. I said yes, and then she went into grilling me on how I liked him. I didn't want to tell her the truth, but I tried not to lie either – so I just evaded her questions but she wouldn't let me go so I finally just fibbed and said what a great doctor he was.

Um, no. He was not a great doctor. At least not for me. I felt he was threatened by my lack of use for his skills, and my choice to do my own research along with his suggestions. I felt he was physically rough, and also condescending. He actually was the reason my birth experience, in my opinion, was not perfect. Once I began pushing, he was lecturing me about why Evy wasn't being born faster (oh sorry that my ONE HOUR OF YOUR TIME was too much) because I would stop pushing in order to breath. He didn't let us wait to cut the cord like we wanted to – and then preceded to cut the cord himself and didn't let Paul OR my sister do it.

How do you tell someone that the doctor they like so much, is not perfect? I mean, at least not for me.

When I get pregnant again, I'm doing this all differently – that's for sure.

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Bushels full

I’m loosing my hair.

Not in a I’m-old-or-stressed-out-or-it-runs-in-the-family kind of way, but rather in a the-perks-of-pregnancy-are-hard-to-loose kind of way. What I usually do is shampoo my hair and then comb it with a wide tooth comb after applying conditioner – and in doing that now I pulled hand fulls of hair away. If I didn’t know better, I’d be REALLY worried.

The bummer is that I have light hair and it shows up on EVERYTHING. I feel really self conscious though because I always notice when someone has hair stuck to their clothes. I’m not sure how long it’s going to last, some of my co-workers are saying that they’re STILL loosing that much hair after having kids some 20+ years ago and my sister says she’s still loosing hair after having her son 5 months ago.

Its frustrating, but as long as I’m not seeing bald spots – I guess I can deal :)

The fanny pack.

I’m very frustrated with my body right now. We were shopping this weekend, and I did a bit of browsing for new jeans. The jeans I’m wearing now are still my one & only pair of maternity jeans with NO waist but instead a ultra wide band of elastic that goes from beneath my belly button to my bra. VERY comfortable, but not practical with you’re not pregnant. They’re starting to be too big on me and shift continually throughout the day given they have no waist to grip my hips.

I never cared much that I wasn’t model material. That helped when I got pregnant and people were telling me horror stories about what my body would look like AFTERWARD. I was prepared for stretch marks, I was prepared for being fat for awhile, I was even prepared for lopsided breasts. I wasn’t prepared for what has happened though.

First, I’d like to explain how my body USED to look. I’m hourglass shaped, so far as I wear full figure bras, my waist is the smallest point & my hips are wide. I always had a little belly, which sat around my belly button but was evenly distributed so I always thought it was kind of cute :P Despite my little belly, my stomach was smooth. If I didn’t wear tight fitting pants I could wear a snug shirt and I didn’t have any rolls.

Well, now my entire composition has changed. Now, my has disappeared and all I have is a bulge that sits above my belly button and is in my opinion, not cute. It sits above where my pants waistline is, so now there’s always a roll there. No matter how loose my pants are as soon as I sit down the waist sinks deep into my body creating 3 very distinct sections to my body: boobs, belly one & belly two. Where my cute belly used to be is now concave, and the skin is loose and hangs. The stretch marks don’t help – but as I said I was prepared for that. Also, I now have a verifiable fanny pack of flesh that hangs just above my crotch. TMI? I don’t care – I need to vent.

As I said, I never really cared how my body appeared. Now however, I’m really noticing how much I liked my figure. I’m not really sure what to do either. I mean, while I hate to exercise (ab exercises are on the top of my hate list) I would do it if it meant that I would fix what is broken. But – is it going to fix it? Does exercise tighten loose skin, shift bulges and eliminate fanny packs? Or is this just something that’ll fix itself naturally as I heal? It’s been less than four months, perhaps I’m jumping the gun?

On the pregnancy websites all they say is, “It took nine months for your body to get like this – its not going to change back overnight.” What does that mean, exactly? That I’ll be back to my old shape (or there about) in nine months? Is there any point in helping it along?

I’m so clueless.

The Story

Evy's website is not cooperating so her birth story will be posted here first :)

The clean version of Evy's birth story will be first – for those of you not interested in messy details like hemorrhaging and catheters :P

After our doctor's appointment on Thursday, where my doctor told me I still hadn't made any progress since the week before, I was a little disappointed. We made an appointment for a stress test the following Thursday and I was trying to stay positive that she was only two days beyond her medical due date and in fact only 40 weeks on Thursday so in my opinion she wasn't even late yet. Friday night I spotted a bit of blood after going to the bathroom and I was pretty sure I'd passed my cervical mucus plug, a good sign that my body was beginning to dilate. Saturday morning I woke up and wasn't feeling very well. I began to have what felt like menstrual cramps, however I kept my plans of going to see my sister for most the day. I didn't want to be at home alone (Paul had to put in a few hours at work) anyhow, and my sister was my best pregnancy resource and I knew she'd make me feel calm and reassured that everything was okay. I wasn't quite sure what I was feeling, so I was keeping everything
light with Paul as I knew he'd be on edge and anxious if he thought I
was having "contractions". While at my sister's she confirmed my suspicions that they were contractions, but we were both convinced that I'd likely be having contractions for a day or so before anything happened. The contractions were slightly consistent if I moved around – spaced about fifteen minutes apart, however when I relaxed they spaced out to about a half hour apart.

I left my sister's at around two and on the way home my contractions began to get stronger. Still convinced that we'd be at it for awhile, Paul & I stopped and picked up lunch and even hit up some frozen yogurt :D Once home though, I really began to feel the contractions and we began to time them. From about 3pm to 8pm the contractions remained consistent at about 7 to 10 minutes apart. I'd called my doctor and confirmed that I need to call him and go to the hospital when they were five minutes apart for a least two hours. At about 8pm I began to get really frustrated with my contractions because they were not consistent at all and seemed fueled by my trying to lie down. I remember from my Bradley Classes, and also on the advice of my sister, that I should be trying to get as much rest between contractions as I could considering that once they really began to pick up I'd be working really hard. But every time I leaned back or tried to lay down a strong one would hit.

From 9pm to 10pm the contractions grew stronger, yet no more consistent. It was about 10pm as I was working through one of my contractions – a really hard one that made me think, "Oh I hope I can do this!!!" that my bag of waters broke! It was such a surprise as I was expecting to have it ruptured at the hospital. With my bag of waters broken, Paul & I had some decisions to make. We called our doctor who, of course said, go straight to the hospital. There is a slight chance of infection now that the bag of waters was broken and they don't take chances. I also called my Bradley instructor who told me that I needed to really consider before going to the hospital. She said most of her couples will labor for much longer after the bag of waters has broken, waiting until the contractions are consistent and they are sure it is time. She just advised to not take a bath – and of course not to have sex (I know, duh – but I guess it's happened). My sister warned me too, saying that once I get to the hospital I'd be on a time table and would probably be restricted from walking and continuing to labor as I needed to. Paul & I talked about it and decided that since this was our first and since I felt like everything was moving along that we'd take a chance and go to the hospital.

On the way to the hospital I was timing the contractions and they began to become consistent and only FOUR minutes apart. In fact, as I was getting out of the car one came on and I had to grip onto a pole to push through it. A hospital attendant saw me and rushed to get me a wheelchair and helped us get our paperwork going so I could go into L&D. During this time contractions were still four minutes apart and very consistent – and they wheeled me into L&D and let me change while Paul filled out all the necessary paperwork. Our nurse was named Kiley and she was WONDERFUL. She'd heard of the Bradley Method and was very understanding when I admitted that I'd forgotten our birth plan (I know, can you BELIEVE IT?!) but would do everything she could that we asked of her. We got a saline lock placed – so I wasn't hooked up to an IV – and she understood about not using Pictocin or any pain medications.

The next few hours are kind of a blur – everything happened so fast. When we got to the hospital I was measured at 5.5 centimeters and the contractions remained consistent. My sister got there and at first tried to get the staff to allow me to get up and walk around and asked about a birthing ball. But I think she soon understood how fast everything was going and realized I was probably bed ridden from then on. From when we got there, which was about 11pm until 1pm, I worked through each contraction with the help of my sister and the encouragement and support of Paul. They made a great team together, my sister making sure I was relaxing as much as I could during the contractions and Paul constantly giving me encouragement – which I really needed. I needed to know that I was doing good  – I really needed that.

Soon I began to shake during the contractions. We learned in our Bradley classes that it could mean I was hitting Transition. Its during this time that most women ask for pain medications because it's the peak of contractions before women are ready to push. Its when women begin to think, "I can't do this – it's too hard" and its normal and common and we needed to just push through it. My sister suggested that I get checked again, and our nurse – Kiley – she was so on top of things and even reminded me that I'd asked for minimal vaginal exams. But I told her I was ready for one – I needed to know what kind of progress I was making. 6.5 centimeters! I wasn't very thrilled about that – but my sister assured me that it was really good progress and we continued to labor.

Surprisingly, soon after that I began to feel the urge to push! I was excited to feel it because I'd heard from everyone that the pain of contractions goes away when you're pushing. She checked me again and I was 9.5 centimeters (I think) and so we got into the position :) But just as suddenly as I was in the position my contractions slowed down and it was strange to just be lying there waiting for something to happen. So we changed my position back to lying on my right side and again the contractions began. It felt really strange to try and push a baby out on my right side, but I was having the sensation to push and it did feel good when I did push. After a few pushes in that position we tried my back again – I was definitely making progress.

I pushed hard from 1am until she was born at about 2am – the doctor was there for I believe the last half hour. He wasn't pushy or anything – but he was very… condescending about the mechanics of labor. What I mean is, as I was pushing he was trying to explain to me what I was doing wrong and how pushing worked. Um, duh – I know how this all works. I'm not doing anything wrong by breathing which I have to do. If the baby goes back in when I breath then so be it. She's just taking her time. Between pushing, I tried to relax. According to my sister, I relaxed between contractions very well, concentrating on my breathing and feeling the baby moving down the birth canal.

I hear that pushing for an hour isn't that bad – even if it felt like an eternity. But, after an hour she was born!!!

Now for the gory details – I may have had a quick delivery but I didn't have the best "after birth".

First, the doctor refused to wait to cut the umbilical cord and also refused to let anyone else cut it. I was really disappointed by that, especially because it shouldn't have been his choice – but mine. Second, he pressured me to pass the placenta immediately and its something that happens naturally after a few minutes – not straight away. Once I'd passed the placenta he immediately began to apply stitches to my tear. Third, and this isn't really anyone's fault I guess – but I began to lose a lot of blood and so they administered something to stop my bleeding – so I didn't get a 100% drug-free birth. Fourth, the nurse thought Evy was "really blue" and so quickly took her from me – but eventually brought her back after my sister had a few words with her while Paul was taking care of me.

All of this happened when all I wanted to do was have Evy on my chest and bask in the fact that I'd done it and she was finally here and the next stage could start. It was all very distracting, not to mention painful, and I wish they could have just let us have a moment before that all began. I know that it had to be taken care of – I just remember my sister's L&D at the birth center. After Eli was born everyone was able to just be silent and in wonder for a few minutes. I wanted that.

But those are the only things that I was disappointed with when it came to the L&D. The loss of blood I had caused me to have some problems with recovery – I was forced to use a catheter & then a bed pan all day Sunday & all of Sunday night because I passed out when I tried to walk. I don't think I've ever passed out before – it was strange. One second I was sitting up in bed and then the next minute I was lying back with a  parade of nurses hovering over me. But Monday morning I woke up and felt a lot better and they discharged me when I was able to walk around easily. I was told to take iron tablets and continue with my prenatal vitamins and though I had a few days of bad headaches I feel much better now.

Anyhow – so that was that. I'm a mom now, can you believe it?!

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She’s Here! My daughter Evelyn is here!

Born @ 1:55am – April 19th. 8 lbs 11 ounces, 18 inches long, 14 cm around head – strawberry blonde hair :) So. Tired. Water broke @ home @ around 10pm – pushed for about an hour. No drugs – until Pictocin afterwards because of the bleeding.

As I said, so tired! Pictures to follow soon – I promise :)

{o,o} — hoot.
| )__)
" "

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Still here – still pregnant :)

I feel like I haven't posted in ages! The last few days have been a bit long – but in a good way. Paul had Friday & Monday off – as his work is looking for any excuse to give him unpaid vacation days in order to save on payroll. It stinks that both of those unpaid days are going to be in a single paycheck, but I know that Paul needs some time off so I'm happy he had a chance.

Yesterday I finished packing my bag and we also installed the car seat in Paul's Jeep. I'm pretty much as ready as I'm going to get for this whole thing to get going and I'm trying to stay busy so I don't just dwell on the fact that D-Day is here and it could be any minute.

Work has been busy, I've been trying to get a lot of stuff done on our Intranet so that everything is pretty much on auto-pilot while I'm gone. I've finally been given more of the Admin tasks, which is a relief as before I was just the middle man between our System Administrators and our End Users. I was told when anything was broken but not always allowed to fix it. My first step with expanded permissions was applying the newest version and I'm now trying to troubleshoot why our RSS feeds are not working correctly.

Like I said, trying to stay busy :)

Oh! And one of my co-workers has accepted another job in our company – and so I'll be getting a new co-worker soon. Perhaps my day is just too drool, but I'm a bit excited :) I just hope that they don't out-shine me while I'm gone for six weeks. Don't want to have to mark my territory by urinating around my desk :P

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